When others are not ready for your truth

A few weeks ago I met up with a dear friend, who I hadn’t seen for about 7 months, as I was in Portugal during the winter months. We have a lot of common interests, like spiritual stuff, yoga, meditation and so forth, and I always really enjoy our deeper conversations about these things. I can’t have these kinds of talks with all of my friends, and certainly not my family, so I really value that in our friendship. And for the past few years it felt safe to talk to her about the state of the world, as we were also pretty much on the same page as far as that is concerned.

So, when we got all the cozy chit chat over with, the conversation turned to world politics and such. But then, as I was sharing my view on something (I was a bit adamant), I saw her reacting and retracting. Her body language said it all. Luckily, she’s very aware and not afraid to speak her mind, so she told me how what I just expressed was affecting her. 

First my body went into a freeze. Then I wanted to apologize for making her feel that way. Wanting to water down what I had just said, so she wouldn’t feel so bad. And more importantly, so the tension between us would go. Disagreements, if you could even call it that, have always made me feel uncomfortable. I want the air cleared, so my survival instinct has me go for the harmony strategy immediately.

Yes, maybe I have become more outspoken about these issues. It was all so easy and relaxed in Portugal. All of this was a non-issue with the people I was hanging out with. It usually wasn’t even a topic of conversation as there was sort of a silent knowing that we all felt the same way. So that left a lot of time to talk about happier things 😉 

She went on to warn me that other friends of ours very likely won’t appreciate what I have to say about these matters and the firmness with which I say it, and I better be careful sharing my opinions around them. It all came from love and a very positive intention to save me from unpleasant situations, but I felt so limited and restricted again. Exactly the reason (or one of the reasons ;-)) I felt I had to get out of this same energy here last fall. 

So now, it’s starting to dawn on me. This is all about ‘speaking my truth’! This is how the imprints from our ancestors and past life experiences – especially as Lightworkers and Truth Speakers – often still have us imprisoned in fear about speaking up. 

Wow, of course this is what it’s all about! 

I’m again reminded how important it is to research our triggers. We tend to just move on to the next thing and try to make these uncomfortable feelings go away asap. 

But the healing is also in the insight!

So, back to my story 😉

This is my truth and I feel quite strongly about it, because I want to be someone to help humanity wake up so we will all start to see things through different eyes. But it feels as if I’m being criticized, shut up in a way. And I let it happen out of fear. Fear of being rejected, of losing people, of being alienated, isolated and completely on my own. This is some pretty old s**t coming up here!

Obviously, not everyone is ready to hear my truth. 

(And I’m specifically saying MY truth, and not THE truth, as we can never be sure of course .…)

Could it be that deep down people know you are right, but it’s too confronting? 

Too terrifying, that if that were really true, their whole world would come crumbling down? So, they’d rather not hear it, whatever subject our message is about.

And they (usually accidentally and unconsciously) make us feel like the bad guy or girl. 

This is how I’ve been dimming my light. Hiding my truth. Hiding myself and my message.

This is how my karmic imprints are showing up. This is how I’ve been avoiding part of my task here: to come out of the shadow, step forward being real and authentic, and to help others wake up to their own truth and do the same. 

It hurts so much I’m in tears right now, and it also hurts that this is so sneaky that I am only now seeing what was really happening. 

Yes, dear Wayshowers and Truth Speakers, we have taken on quite a task! With quite some challenges! 

Don’t you love those Soul contracts you’ve agreed to …

But all is good and all is well: know that your Soul will never give you a Destiny, send you on a life’s mission, that you are not capable of fulfilling. Along with your tasks, goals and lessons you are also given great gifts and talents, and it’s up to you to activate them and use them to transmute your karma and challenges. This is where your greatest GOLD is waiting for you, your greatest assets!

So, thank you Universe, for once again making my wounds clear to me. Thank you for showing me where I need more healing, so I can activate my talents, realize my goals, and fulfill my Soul Destiny